Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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