If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
