they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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