I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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