my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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