A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
