This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize