I will die if light touches me.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
