Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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