How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
