i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize