i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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