This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
