thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
