does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
