I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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