Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
