Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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