this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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