I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm passing your future prison.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
