tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
