I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
