smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My life is pants optional.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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