Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
