I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
