she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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