Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
