True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
