But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
