if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
