he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
