You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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