I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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