next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
