I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
