I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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