I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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