What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
