Yo dont text me then not text me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
