So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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