The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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