Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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