CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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