just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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