If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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