can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize