Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
