alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
