My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
