OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
