Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize