3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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