I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
