Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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