nut hugger
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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