i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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