we made out on top of his cat.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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