I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
