Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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