The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
