Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
