when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize