Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
