I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
