uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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