just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
