hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
