you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
