why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
