My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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