come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
