there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
