batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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