what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
