It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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